I hate this confusion inside my head,
That bleeds into my heart.

I didn’t want to lose your friendship,
But leaving is all I can seem to do.

You tell me your feelings,
As I am going out the back door.

Scream and yell tell me you hate me,
I’ll be the bitter one and fake that I don’t care.

When I can’t seem to escape you,
I wonder how I let your friendship go.

How I stare in a mirror knowing I was the one,
That completely tore your heart apart.

The truth would be I can’t move,
I barely can even breathe.

I watch what seems like a world away,
As the tears fall down your cheeks.

Can’t bring myself to comfort you,
I don’t want you to see my soul.

Instead of helping you I cock that gun,
My words like the trigger you put it to your mouth.

Speak those words of hatred to you,
And you blow your heart away again.

I am the heart you want,
The only one you feel.

I am love’s wreckless suicide,
The one always walking out the door.

But this time the only thing I can do is watch,
Your descent into love’s tailor made hell.

Because I can’t bring myself to say,
The words you want to hear.


But I can’t seem to walk away,
And let all of this and you go.

J.H 2008