Mother in Every Sense!

I admit it… I’m in love…
In love with the same person for over 25 years,
She is my dove,
Is it true?
I have no doubt,
Is it real?
She is all I’m thinking about,

As we talked about sweet nothings, a gentleman in a suit whom I observed observing us for several minutes broke into laughter as I looked directly at him without seeming to do so. He shook his head and smiled, seemingly ecstatic at his own observations.

I took my baby’s hand and walked a little distance away without paying any attention to him. I thought relocation to a more intimate place away from prying eyes, wise. However, as I took her hand in mine, now lost in its warmth, I heard a voice behind us ask, “Are you both married?”
“No! But, we’re working on it!” I replied, without turning.
My lady, fair, turned, faced the smiling gentleman.
He added, “You should. You make a great couple!”
"Isn't that interesting?", I whispered to her while stealing a kiss.

We enjoyed each others company all night long, and after dinner, in the cool of the evening we sat on two chairs at the crossroads of the world. In loving embrace, tenderly kissing now, and then again, we reveled in each other as the faceless denizens of the world passed by, some gawking, some staring at the love birds we had become.

A pair of forty-something females passed us. The stumbling drunk one stopping as her companion tugged on her coat, “Oh my, you’re a handsome couple!” she stammered, as we both broke into sudden laughter, hugging each other even tighter as two children at play. “Well, she may have been drunk", I said, "but she certainly is not blind”. And that observation was worth an unexpected kiss, and well received.

All night long, I considered. I pondered and asked myself, “What was it those two people who commented saw in us? And the countless others who passed and watched and smiled, “What did they too see?” The wind picked up and the temperature went into the basement, but neither of us were cold, our bodies were generating sufficient heat to keep us right where we were forever. And then it dawned on me… I looked at my watch, and then looked around. We were the only ones being unapologetically affectionate and demonstrative. And this was the case hours ago as well for it was now midnight… What difference being in love actually makes... Love and limerence....

To someone who has never been in love and had that love returned in full measure, all of this sounds, trite, sickeningly sweet, too much to digest. For such a soul, the word love holds no fascination, no mystery, and no importance whatsoever. Yet, to a soul who is not too jaded, too sarcastic, and too afraid to allow love to take control of himself/herself, the reward is for 'being in love' is worth the risk.

Who knows what will happen to my love and I? Perhaps, she has only returned to me for but a moment in time on her way to other places, persons, and experiences. Yet, my heart remains steadfast and unafraid.

In my waking state, the trees sing, and a winter's breeze is none but the Maker's caressing touch. Translucent gossamer wings bear towards Zion every night, and never will my feet touch the earth again. Never! For I have learned my final lesson in life, and my test awaits. To love another for their own sake, to give all but only receive love in return, to never relinquish the still truth that says "I love her", even though the world will cast you a fool and make of love a comedy, even a tragedy. To do, to bear, to forbear, to give to bleed and be wounded, willingly, with ne'er a thought of self is to touch God's face, and return to the bosom of Our Father. Such is my Church, my temple and my khrist...

My love... all that I am, and all that I have are thine, for the race is not to the swiftest, nor the battle to the strong, but to the one that can endure to the end! I Am He!

he is not my wife… yet. That monika has been a long time coming. Nevertheless, it will come. With you, let me share this…

I know three things with complete certainty: First, I know myself. Second, love does not scare me, ignorance does. Third, what is mine will always be mine.

I have loved many women in my short existence because loving is my anointing, the way a preacher feels he/she is called to serve God. Each of the women I have loved, let something or someone keep her love from me. Yet, with a few of them I would have gladly have spent my life. However, there was always something. Always some obstacle, some stone of contention, to their loving me with their whole heart.... My present love is different. ...

I am excellent at analyzing both people and situations; excellent at discovering the innermost secrets of a person’s heart. Such is my gift. In my existence, not even my mother has loved me with such abandon, but I do not blame her for what she was unable to give, because to give, one fist has to possess. My true mother is Doris Romain, for she loved me to the point of infuriation to all around me. She it was that taught my heart to pray without words, to love in purity and simplicity, and to uncover the motives of each human being with whom I cross paths. Doris, was she who is responsible for the depth of my present love, and in this I emulate her to distinction.

I do not know what the future holds for us, but I will never regret what I feel, how I feel it, or how I choose to express it. Moreover, as you can see from my writing, I sometimes wax poetic, or fall romantic. Whatever comes, though, I am going to etch my love into her heart for all time. And for me, unlike relationships I’ve had in the past, she has already proven she is worth all I can give and so much more. I am going to rap up the big dipper for her and place the moon on notice that it will henceforth shine only when she smiles…