My Longing
I have spent my whole life longing for so many different things.Longing as a child for toys that sometimes never came.
I longed to be more popular, to have more friends at school.
I longed to have my father close by me everyday.
I longed for rest for my mother, who worked hard just for us.
I longed she would get better when her illness made her frail.
I longed for her a husband who would treat her like a queen-
one who wanted daughters and really wasn't mean.
I longed as I grew older for true love not just a dream.
I longed to be a mother, to have a family.
I longed for my daughter taken from me so so young.
I longed to start over, to prove my worth and strength.
I longed to have more babies and was blessed with two perfect sons.
I longed to find them a father who would stand by us come what may.
I longed to be the mother that my mother was to me.
Now because I wasn't and failed them in so many ways-
I long for my two boys who are so very far away.
I long they'll know I love them and miss them everyday.
I long now for my children to know I'm trying in every way-
To bring them all home safetly and keep them here always.
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