My past is my permanent nightmare

Yet I look to it for so much in my life

Looking back brings pain and joy at once

So much has happened only to come to nothing

I may regret some things but will never forget

So many people in it and yet so few left

Some days I just look back to my past life

Only to cry when I realize what I have gone through

I am told to look for the future instead the past

However, I am scared of what is ahead for me

I may complain about my past and was has happened

But really my past is all I have to live on

My past life may be a permanent nightmare

But, it’s a nightmare I wish to dream again

I may hurt from looking back and I may cry from it

Though I will never forget how it has made me today