Will you kill me, or will you give me life?

I have so much distrust and confusion, are you a dream, just another illusion? I'm holding onto my hopes, strangled by these ropes once before, i'll die another day just to say i'll try, live a lie live to die i swear, i swear i'll try, still im wishing this was more, this could rock me to my core and already i'm bleeding, my wounds feel so sore, left overs from my past battles with heartache i scream out to the empty sky, give me something more than just a lie. Silence my only answer and i let escape the sigh, solemn and alone, i sit upon this throne of exquisite pain, marked with the blood red stains of my past and the hopes that just couldnt last, i gave my all and watched them fall away just way too fast, tortured and twisted my heart remains less than murdered, holding tight to my chest i wait to die like the rest, still holding onto some semblance of hope, part of me is saying this is all just too much to cope, the candles flame flickers and begins to fade, slowly my soul finds the shade and i'm still waiting on you to make true on the promises made, all too soon this heart, to rest will be laid.