• mjanderson14
  • is happy that I talked to a close friend this week

Poem Commentary

My name is Malcolm  and I'm 19 years old from North Carolina. This poem was inspired by the things I'm going through in my life right now. I'm having a hard time keeping up with some of my best friends because we are so busy. Lately, I've been feeling like they abandon me and have forgotten all about me. I tried everything, but it's not working out like I planned. Now I got only 4 best friends out of 10, Jasmine, Marie. Samantha, and Jameka. My guy friends are somewhat too busy for me, especially my friend Tim Clark, who I'm having the most problems with, because I miss him so much. I don't know what to do, because I got to find a way to get us close like we use to be.


What happens to us?
Is our friendship here to stay
Or gone away like dust?
We promise each other forever
We made a pact
But I guess you think forever is a never
A huge stab in my back.
Why don't you care?
Why are you not there?
Was is it I did?
Was is it I said?
Many thoughts running through my head.
Racing like racing horses
On endless obstacle courses.
Thoughts piling up on my mind like rocks
Like dirt in a clean sock
Trying to be free
What's that? You I see.
Standing at the edge of a pool
In your hand a tool to set me free
From drowning
From these thoughts pounding
From the water's surrounding
You standing there is astounding
I reach out of you as you accidentally fall in
Our chances are thin
I pray it's not the end.
What's this? The water level's decreasing.
My lifeline's increasing.
What else? More people are coming.
We are going to be saved.
Thinking God for this day
Bringing us closer in any way
Oh no, what are you doing?
You're pushing me down,
About to drown
You're up to the shore
You made it
You don't care anymore
I'm drowning, losing vision,
You increasing the high tide
Just like me drowning, our friendship has died.

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cjmason commented on Abandon


That was a great poem i can totaly relate . I am going through a similar situation and this poem said what i was feeling



Thanks, it feels really good to know someone feels the way I feel

Saylar commented on Abandon


Awww MJ, don't feel abandoned. The best friends are the ones who if you haven't seen for a while can pick up the conversation just like it was yesterday. Judging from the deep care you display for your friends, I am willing to bet that they may be busy with "life", but if you called them for help, they would be right there for you. You wrote this with much feeling and depth of your soul and did a wonderful job of conveying to the reader your sensitive side, not always an easy task. Keep writing~ you have a talent! And try not to be too hard on your compadres. :-)



Thanks Saylar, I feel a whole lot better here that. I really appreciate it

A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. It finds the thought and the thought finds the words.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

mjanderson14’s Poems (5)

Title Comments
Title Comments
I'm Done 0
Why do I care about you so much? 0
Abandon 2
Life Is Too Short 0
Miss Iconic 0