another song i have come to terms with.

Being that close to you and not being able to touch you was too hard for me to fight.
I have longed for that moment.
For the perfect goodbye.
Although it will never exist I always love to try.
It's you in my head.
It's you who owns my mind.
Running from my future but holding on to the seams.
Slipping backwards trying not to be seen.
Secretly sneaking you into my dreams.
Barely tugging on my heart but tight enough to make me mean.
It's your smile, your style, your way with those 3 words.
That make me weak, uncontrolled, unrehearsed.
I'm always gonna be here but not there enough.
Forgive me, for I have sinned.
I've given another my love.
I'm not sure what will come of you and I, sometime from now.
But I promise that you will find me someday, somewhere, somehow.
And when you do I'll be holding my heart with outstretched arms and a letter that says:

Love is something you can always come home to.
No matter how long your gone or what path you sometimes choose.
If the feeling is there and your heart is still true.
Love is something you can always come home to
Mine belongs to you.

It will be up to you to reconnect the dots.
Like the freckles that mingle on the cheeks of our thoughts.
The smiles we have shared and the tears we have surrendered.
The touch of bare skin that we will always remember.
Will you be there for me reading that letter?
Or will I be standing in the cold forever?
Time will tell.
Life will go on.
I just want you to know that this is my song.
My song for you that no one will ever understand.
That means you are my special.
My longed for man.
Quiet, this is a secret until the light is right.
But the other night I swear our feelings towards one another Shined bright.
I love you now.
I loved you then.
I'll love you tomorrow.
I'll always love you until our end.