I Cry

1 Comments

Tags:
  • Sadness

    I Cry
    I cry because you left me
    I cry because your here,
    I cry because you said we would last
    I cry for the past,
    I cry because you can not see
    Just what it is you have done to me,
    I cry because I can't see you
    I cry because you said we're through,
    I cry because I miss you
    And you don't know,
    Just what you left
    With that last strong "blow".
    Now I must stand strong
    Because I know that I do belong,
    And I have your little one
    Who will need someone to hold on,
    And I dedicate to you that I don't
    Think we are truly through,
    But instead that we have
    But only barely just begun.

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    TDrakeTerry commented on I Cry

    02-19-2009

    "I cry because you can not see Just what it is you have done to me," I really liked these lines--the rhythm and the rhyme really work there. Overall, I can tell that this is a poem of real feeling. The images and phrases are effective. But it also could use some polish. Grammatically, in line 2 "your" should be "you're," and in line 5 "can not" should be one word, not two. Stylistically, I think the lack of regular rhythm and rhyme detracts from the rhymes that you do use. Sometimes, I want
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    When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

    John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

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