I remember your hands on my
face and your tongue in my
mouth, so soft and wet and slippery;
a short, fat snake wet
with morning dew, twisting in my
mouth and trying to slither its way
down my throat.

I remember your breath on my
skin and the sound of your
heartbeat; I counted the seconds
between each beat, amused when its
pace quickened each time I pressed
closer against you.

I remember your smile and
the sound of your voice,
calm and comforting or loud
with excitement, passionate
when I lay in the safe haven
of your arms and your lips pressed
gentle kisses against my
anticipating neck.

I remember your laughter and
the beauty of your eyes, the way they
crinkled in amusement, and how
you used to look at me as though
I were all that you could see,

I remember your embrace and how
you loved so fiercely in the beginning,
always needing to be near me and
never quite close enough; you held
me tightly as if you were trying to
combine our separate bodies
into one.

I remember your withdrawal and
the sadness of your absence,
how I heard your voice wherever
I went and how I cried when I
realized you weren't really there,

I remember all these things and yet
it adds no comfort to the
misery of my existence without
you; I could list a thousand other
memories and it would not bring you
any closer; nothing I could say
would ever bring you back;
you're where you want to be and
it isn't with me.

But oh, what I would give to
feel your touch
taste your kiss
see your smile
hear your voice
look into your eyes
and know that
I am all you will ever want to see.