i'm sick and tired of feeling the way that I do.
this week happy, tomorrow depressed, these feelings aren't new.
sometimes i feel like i'm not good enough for the lowest of the low.
this is some sad shit, my emotions are all fucked up, this i already know.

i hate the way my life is going, i always have an issue.
but i always keep a smile on my face, i'll never discuss them with you.
although it is you, that has put me through this emotional hell.
i'll never open my mouth, before i do i'll fucking rebel.

constantly smoking weed so my problems won't cross my mind.
when i'm high the negativity and problem are hard to find.
having to manipulate my thoughts so i may be at a relaxing state.
when sober i'm thinking, "gotta find that weed, where's the blunt i can't wait."

lending a hand to those doing bad and help they always need it.
then turn around like i haven't done shit, acting stuck up and conceited.
you stupid bitch, using me is not even a real choice.
it's all true, you know i'm for real, mufuka i'll silence your voice.

as a child in elementary school i was teased everyday.
being dark-skinned was nowhere near in, girls never came my way.
and my older brothers, they never made it easy for me either.
one girl told me i was ugly and i started to believe her.

day in and day out people calling me names.
making me feel like trash as if i were to blame.
hate is not a word, that's in my wide ranged vocabulary.
but why did you have to do this, you've caused emotional insanity.

two months ago i called my mother on her cell phone.
to tell her i was sad, depressed, and felt all alone.
i began to cry and ask her why no one would accept me.
she said, "son i've been through this before, things will get better you'll see."

so now i'm sitting here waiting for my life to get better.
as usual i'm depressed, no matter what type of weather.
it's like i can't get up because i've some how fell.
i'm forever cursed to go through this crap, a life that i call hell.


BY: JEREMY I. JASON