TONIGHT, I ONCE AGAIN AM SLEEPLESS. SO, I LAY HERE AS THE THOUGHTS STREAM THROUGH MY HEAD. MEMORIES, FANTASIES, BROKEN AND BRITTLE WORDS STREAM THROUGH MY HEAD. BLURRED FACES, INCOMPLETE LINES, AND UNSETTLED CONVERSATIONS ALL STREAM THROUGH MY HEAD. HEAVY TEARS CLOUD WEARY EYES SADDENED BY WEARY BLUES. SAME EMOTIONS PLAYING TO THE SAME TUNE OVER AND OVER UNTIL I AM NUMB. NOT QUITE YET, NOT QUITE THERE. I STILL CAN FEEL. I STILL CAN FEEL THE EMPTINESS IN-BETWEEN MY SHEETS AND THE COLDNESS OF BARE FEET TOUCHING THE GROUND. I CAN STILL FEEL THE SWEAT MOISTENING MY PALM. I CAN STILL FEEL MY INCOMPLETENESS. I AM INCOMPLETE BECAUSE I NO LONGER HAVE HIM. NO, NOT THE HIM ONE ASSUMES. I AM TALKING ABOUT THE HIM THAT IS ME. I NO LONGER HAVE ME. I LOST MYSELF TO WORDS WITHOUT MEANING AND DREAMS THAT WERE NEVER MEANT TO COME TRUE FOR ME. I LOST MYSELF TO THIS WAR I INFLICTED ON MYSELF. I WAS FIGHTING FOR LOVE AND PURPOSE; TRUTH AND SANITY. I WAS FIGHTING FOR PEACE AND REVOLUTIONS. I WAS FIGHTING FOR THINGS THAT A WAR IS MEANT TO BE FOUGHT FOR, BUT I NEVER FOUGHT FOR SELF-PRESERVATION. SO, I ALLOWED MYSELF TO GO ASTRAY AS I CONTINUED TO BATTLE FOR INTANGIBLE THINGS. I NEVER WANTED TO BECOME LIKE THE PEOPLE I HAD LEFT A LONG TIME AGO. THOSE PEOPLE WHO BOUGHT INTO HUMANITY’S WAY OF BECOMING TROUBLE-FREE WHILE SELLING THEIR SOUL FOR TAINTED WATERS. I NEVER WANTED TO GIVE INTO THE NORM BECAUSE I ALWAYS HAD AMBITIONS OF REMAINING TRUE TO MYSELF. I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A VIGILANTE, A REVOLUTIONIST, A SOLDIER THAT FOUGHT FOR HIS OWN LIFE WHILE THE WORLD STOPPED AND STARED. INSTEAD OF MOVING AND WALKING IN MY POWER, I BEGAN TO MOVE AND WALK IN FEAR BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WOULDN’T SUCCEED. I THOUGHT NO MAN COULD BREAK THROUGH WALLS AND BARRIERS ALONE. I THOUGHT I COULDN’T CONQUER AND HANDLE THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ON MY OWN. SO, I LOST MYSELF TO DOUBT AND SECOND GUESSING. SO, EVERYONE, PLEASE LET’S STOP SECOND GUESSING AND START BELIEVING IN OURSELVES. TRUST ME- I KNOW.