last night before I went to sleep 
I put an alarm underneith the tree 
someone was stealing the gifts 
and I wanted to catch the little tiff 

I waited by the steps 
and sure enough here comes this elf 
he tippy toed right on through 
and start helping himself to the loot 

as I turnt on the light 
I gave out a shout 
and scared the little bugger 

then that little lout 
tried to put up a fight 
and thats when I pulled out me slugger 

that little elf 
he starts yelling for help 
and here come fat St. Nick 

with a glint in his eye 
he said what a surprize 
you've caught the little tick 

with a Ho Ho Ho he said goodbye 
then grabbed the elf by the ear 
I felt sorry but I did not cry 
as he said Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!