Rhetorical

it was hard to let go
easy to give up
he filled me with love
like he'd fill an empty cup
now promises, promises
i'm sure he'll be there
so i'm not empty handed
as if he doesn't care
oh, but the heart tells me one thing
my mind another
Kill me now?
not sure i can recover
neither innocent
both betRayed
please hold the truth
whIle a lie be made
here i am
Can you not see?
that is a number
like me for me
if my soul were emptied
rid of all lies
why would i take
so many by surprise?
would tHey hate me?
would they shun me?
to know not one thing's true
would they hurt me?
just Ignore me?
have they lied too?
i've been wishing for so long
that this would finally happen
now it has
and i'm lost
in a lie that i've been trApped in
what's the use?
what's the point?
i won't suffer anymore
but i can't spek my mind
it's my Heart that they tore
if Only, if only
that's all i can say
yet here i sit,
simply Waiting all day
with the light of my phone
pen in my hand
these lies are not donE
they've simply just began.