Snake
I remember what you said
And every time I do…
I close my eyes and pause.
Like when I hear his name.
Was it worth saying?
Did it make you feel better?
Words haunt me
But none more than your own.
I remember them
I see you looking at me as you speak
In my memories…
A disappointment,
Now a snake for me
As though what I did was wrong
As though I am at fault
“…A Snake,” You look up “for you.”
I pause closing my eyes at the memory
Those are not the words of a supposed martyr.
And yet you play or played the role
And I?
Am I to villainized…
For speaking the truth.
You said it was none of my business,
Then why did I see it?
Your defense, that I don’t complain when you bring that woman around
How can I?
You’re the one that brings her?
I will never chastise you for living your life.
Silent for so long, feeling shame
Feeling like I’m swallowing his pride
Every time… silent is how I remain
I was put into a corner
And you don’t remember
How you unknowingly directed me there.
I have felt guilt for not honoring thy mother and thy father
Like the bible says.
But not for him, but for you
When you say I don’t treat you like him
But I treat you better
I have always treated you better.
It was for the best.
Remain silent,
Wanting to avoid the fight;
Every time,
all those many, many times
Choose to be quiet.
Never choosing a side,
But the one time I decided to speak.
And it seems
What is left of what we have
Means so little to you
You would let this ruin it;
Something that should never affect us…
Yet I suppose the truth is
This has always affected us.
It’s one of the reasons
We now stand so far apart.
But never should this be a deciding factor
Yet, I believe you are letting it.
And because you are the one letting it
As always I will deal with it.
I fought back the tears during our conversation
Could you even tell?
And then there was the shocking feeling
When I heard the sentence that involved… Snake.
I was silent for so long…
…For you, and then for me when I didn’t have the guts to speak.
But here I stand
Among those you cast the blame.
And you say…
You should’ve gotten a snake…
For me.
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