Unfinished

20 Comments

Tags:
  • Love
    • ,
  • Life
    • ,
  • Realization
    • ,
  • Music

    Unfinished

     though scarred my heart still follows
    your sweet haunting lullaby
    a musical dream, compelling me
    without reason to justify

    the terror of possibility
    for those who live denied
    renders all in hazy hopelessness
    and ever love contrived

    accept our minds cannot contain
    the beacon of heart fire
    with courage we must face the day
    our souls learn to aspire

    while many live with purpose
    it most often is a lie
    you long for real connection
    then, faithless, you deny

    you're drawn by pain-filled longing
    a bright white shiny knight
    you rescue damsels in distress
    but keep your heart locked tight

    I heard the words you said to me
    and thought my heart would drown
    I faced the bitter, mocking mirror
    and tore the damned thing down

    then heard the relentless whisper
    of the music of my heart
    envision then joy's pure refrain
    recognize your counterpart

    once and one time only
    comes this chance for dreams come true
    please take my hand, believe in me
    I am unfinished without you














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    ladiesman commented on Unfinished

    01-16-2011

    A most haunting, broken love story told here without the searched for end... hence the title...*unfinished*. A brilliantly, flowing write!
    Reply to Comment

    Belovedespair

    01/16/2011

    thank you very much... :)

    shallenemcgrath commented on Unfinished

    01-08-2011

    Although I love the sentiment and have experience it myself I think that the poem is specific to you and your true love and leaves little room for the reader to project themselves in this space. I will leave you a PM regarding the changes that could be made to make the poem more universal. The changes are just suggestions.
    Reply to Comment

    Belovedespair

    01/08/2011

    thank you - I'll keep an eye out. however, I enjoy writing from the first person perspective and, as a reader, have no problem projecting myself into that style of writing. In fact, I find it easier to identify - probably just a matter of preference...but I'm interested to see what you did with it and I really appreciate the feedback.

    LenaM commented on Unfinished

    01-07-2011

    loves music writte from the lips of another and placed so lovingly into a broken heart ..... beautiful write
    Reply to Comment

    Belovedespair

    01/07/2011

    thank you for reading :)

    LenaM

    01/07/2011

    I need to check my spelling too I see . I don't like leaving a messed up comment

    Miguel7Rogali commented on Unfinished

    01-06-2011

    i love the way u end this: I am unfinished without u, a desperate longing to end a plea
    Reply to Comment

    dahlusion commented on Unfinished

    01-05-2011

    Beautifully composed in all of its longing with rhymes to jingle along with. Bravo!!!!!!! Peace and Light, dah
    Reply to Comment

    Belovedespair

    01/05/2011

    Thanks Dah - always happy to have you comment!

    In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

    Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

    Belovedespair’s Poems (7)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    Someday vs. Today 6 01/07/2011
    Unfinished 20 01/04/2011
    Snuffed 4 01/02/2011
    sorry I can't stay longer 2 01/02/2011
    incognito 2 01/02/2011
    Speaking in Tongues 3 01/02/2011
    caged 3 01/02/2011
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