WHO:A DREAM FROM MY SLEEP

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  • Dream
    • ,
  • Love

    WHO:A DREAM FROM MY SLEEP
    I am torn between two people
    Who is it, which one is for me
    One's a friend, the other a love
    Just which one of them can it be

    They are similar in some ways
    But two very different minds
    I cannot tell just who it is
    For i am caught in many binds

    I cannot see the path for me
    Only see the red string of fate
    Going through this tangled roadway
    Just trying to find my soulmate

    Deep down inside I know them well
    Yet I do not know who they are
    In the shadows lay their image
    What I wish is a guiding star

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    rainyxsun commented on WHO:A DREAM FROM MY SLEEP

    07-14-2010

    Nicely put. (: There's a lot of choosing to do in life. But you just need to know which one is right. I know you'll find your soul mate ! Is soul mate one word or two words? D: Ah nvm that. But good job. ^ ^ One of the goodies reads for me today.
    Reply to Comment

    lemuwah commented on WHO:A DREAM FROM MY SLEEP

    08-24-2009

    I think it would help if you just drop the extra words.. Like for the first set I would make it something like- I am torn between two people Who is it, which for me One a friend, the other love Just which one can it be
    Reply to Comment

    lemuwah

    08/24/2009

    if you want, you can chat with me on yahoo- my id is lightmoon_goddess.

    lemuwah commented on WHO:A DREAM FROM MY SLEEP

    08-24-2009

    I really like the concept and the imagery, but i got tangled in the wording. I have a few ideas how to take the wordiness out, if you don't mind?
    Reply to Comment

    AzurePoet

    08/24/2009

    any thoughts are appreciated, thx. it does sound a little wordy

    KristyLoren commented on WHO:A DREAM FROM MY SLEEP

    08-24-2009

    Very deep and charming, super rhyme and connection. WELL DONE, keep writing :)
    Reply to Comment

    AzurePoet

    08/24/2009

    thanks :)

    Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

    Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

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