Poem Commentary

Simply the process in which I write. A raw, convoluted fantasy that seems to be--the truth.


It plays over and over inside my head,
a tune it directs and composes.
Closing my eyes, with poison in vein,
feeling the words he discloses.
The fruit swells and ruptures into me;
I feel it enter then leave.
Grabs my wrist pulling me free;
It's filling me up as I breathe.
A smile, a tear and a fight until dawn,
convulsions as pain spews forth heart.
Trembling and shaking and feeling you,
and this is just where we would start.
It says to my heart--
"Shhh...let me speak. I have much to say"
The thing within calms and it soothes me.
"I will eat it, and take it, oh take it away
"then for a while..you will see.
Colapsing onto reality;
I search for a reason for this.
The rthym, it falls onto my ears.
I beg for the muse and his kiss.
I feel the tingle on my lips
of one who was near.
Another tear falls
cementing my fear.
I hear it cry with new sight
I feel its warmth oh so near.
Something was spoken
at birth in my ear
drawing me, bringing
keeping me here.

It is written.

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tenderpoison commented on Written


a couple of minor typo's - otherwise this is hauntingly familiar (as it will be to most of us) you've captured the internal process which compels us to pour ourselves onto the page, and you've done it beautifully :) 10



Thank you for you comment. I will work on my editing, I get in such a hurry typing.

StandingBear commented on Written


So beautifully spiritual ... * something was spoken .. at birth in my ear .. drawing me, bringing .. keeping me here*.... and spiritually written! Now i'm unsatisfied (just the way I like to be when reading great poetry) and starving to read more of your unique work. .... StandingBear

gregster commented on Written


also seems u speak of a lover ...thing this says a lot in one,,,,,very welll written

gregster commented on Written


this seems to be a nonblood dark poem but i am wrong it is just simply true adn yea what was written is LOVE FROM GOD TO YOU..........so be blessed and continue the good work

dahlusion commented on Written


"Something was spoken at birth in my ear"—this line is profoundly spiritual; this poem is brilliant. Bravo!!

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

feathershal’s Poems (2)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Her song 6
Written 6