All night

1 Comments

  • zalezca
  • staritng fresh. looking at life with new meaning and new eyes.

All night

Dark eyes
Bright smile

I want to stay for more than a while

Strong arms
Soft touch

Tender kisses that I love so much

Hot sex
Cool sweat

There's naught of you that I'll forget.

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HarverTomsson commented on All night

06-08-2009

Sweet brevity just misses perfection. A single syllable repeated twice on lines 7 and 8 with a perfect rhyme tightens up this close structured effort. My suggestion according to this theme: hot sex, cool sweat, There's naught of you that I'll forget.

zalezca

07/16/2009

Thank you. I'll try it. I have lost touch since I have not written anything since high school.

Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

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zalezca’s Poems (4)

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All night 1
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