Death of mind


Death of mind

Rainbows spin before me, ever fading into gray
The rhythm of the music, searches for melodic strength
I drift from natural magic, chasing dreams I’ve yet unveiled
Wine of thought lay fruitless, and the rivers flowing still
Cloaked in absolution, a blind sighted inner need
The nirvana I was chasing was but a sleepless peace
Just one more thrill before me – never knowing what I’ll find
One more pill won’t kill me – it’s just the death of mind

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NevillePark commented on Death of mind


"Wine of thought lay fruitless, and the river's flowing, still Cloaked in absolution; a blind sighted inner need This is a clever and thoughtful piece. I get, the meaning I think but (Please forgive the sidebar) -one thing I think we should try to do as communicators in this age of (curiously) "A"-communicative structuring, is to put punctuations between words if we make a contraction of them. "Wine of thought lay fruitless, and the rivers flowing still" "Love that phrase." One thing I wasn't sure of was whether ... rivers flowing still, was the completion of the thought or did it follow on as if "rivers" referred to a network of water ways. I took is as ... river _is flowing still. Either way it's fine- and beyond my need to critique it because works either way, but that's just me. And I tend to hope for feedback on my stuff. There are a couple of folks who're not afraid to dig in tell me the little things that throw them off. You're a pro and once again excuse me if I seem unaware that you've payed some dues in the game.

laydbak1 commented on Death of mind


Nothing like drowning reality with a little soul poison to help give us a good ol' fashioned stained view of the world, eh...??? This is definitely a dark piece, but something everyone should read at least once... Good write...

Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

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