Girl that I am yet to be

12 Comments

Tags:
  • Pain

    Poem Commentary

    This is one of my first poems so please make comments, so I know what to improve on. Thanks!

    Girl that I am yet to be

     The rain on the windowpane
    is nothing compared to the noise of my pain
    And as I drown deep inside from the emotions that I hide
    I sense there is another part of me
    A girl that I am yet to be

    Why should I have to cry every night cause deep inside
    I am caught in a web of despair
    Why can't I just be free
    I want to ride the waves of liberty
    And become that girl that I am yet to be

    I want to listen to my own heart
    I want to make my own choices
    I want to feel something other than pain
    I want to smile and be happy
    I want to fly way up to the sky and look down
      and see all that misery beneath me
    I want to be that girl that I am yet to be

    Poem Comments

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    kmooney commented on Girl that I am yet to be

    09-18-2009

    Terrific poem Erica. I love your passion. You really write well for a young person. I am very impressed. Many of my early poems on this site I wrote when I was about your age, some 30+ years ago. You should take a look at them when you have time. Look at Sue (A Cinderella Story) and A Girl I Once Knew. I think you'll like them...Thanks of sharing.. Kevin.
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    bobarobbob commented on Girl that I am yet to be

    09-18-2009

    sings of hope. i like it. Keep this mindset and you will find her. :o)
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    AlexanderCory commented on Girl that I am yet to be

    09-18-2009

    This is good, however I would say that it doesn't flow so well in the last few lines. Other than that I like the emotion and the feelings that you put into this.
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    keifer478 commented on Girl that I am yet to be

    08-29-2009

    SEEMS TO ME THAT U KNOW WHO U ARE AND WHERE U WANT THIS JOURNEY OF LIFE TO TAKE U! LOVE THE POEM.
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    tenderpoison commented on Girl that I am yet to be

    07-24-2009

    and sweet girl...sooner than you know all the choices will be yours...hang in there, it will come. great poem, you're a talented writer...so keep writing.
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

    Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

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