heart

................But the bitterness of his heart could not be undone.

he felt bitter towards those who followed what he wanted to believe.

but couldnt. Not in the way of so many others.


he was now at the whimsical whims, of fate, chance, life....

he was programmed at the core with the necesarry tools.

he realized in many ways he was for more advanced, in others, light years behind.

he knew there would never be any form of solidified consistancy.

just jumping, from one realitiy to the next. But, the universe was shifting shape,

everyone and everything was changing. maybe the world. maybe just himself.

He kept telling himself, that it wasnt black or white, there were areas of

shades of grey.

he knew what he felt. he was also aware that his bi partisan realtity between visual and spiritual sensations were conflicting.

"this is what my life has dwindled down to"- he thought to himself.

he was a creative person, but that creativity was at the cost of insipherable chaos, confusion, and near madness.

He never made solid plans, or persued anything contructive,
he never followed tourist trails, he didnt know how.
he never knew how he would feel. His mind shifted countless times a day.
he was at the mercy of things and forces he could not control.

what are you gonna do? he was asked.   "just go with it" he replied. he had no other choice.