Love Lost

1 Comments

Love Lost

.: u stopp`d acting like my girlfriend
because your not my girlfriend ,
but when you where my girlfriend
you were`nt acting like my girlfriend ,
thats why i liked you better when you where just acting like my girlfriend ,
but deep down inside i want & need
you as my girlfriend ,
& if not then i guess it`z my fault ,
& ill try 2 win the rest but for now it`z love lost:.

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grandis commented on Love Lost

06-25-2009

This one cool but I think u should add more also maybe make the flow clever. Use metaphors and some symbolism try not make it so obvious. I hope that helps

grandis

06/25/2009

I meant to not make it so obvious.

DrAcrite

06/25/2009

yea i was thinkin the same . honestly didnt really put that much time and effort into that 1 but thanx 4 the advise

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

DrAcrite’s Poems (3)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Broken Pieces 2
Love Lost 1
ex files . . . . 1