Not now, Please, NOT EVER


  • Angst
    • Ness
    • is enjoying the nice Sunday evening...

    Not now, Please, NOT EVER

    This is not a quiet struggle.

    Mine has been public.

    Humiliating, agonizing, frustrating, hard.

    I still have not made full peace with the things that have happened or the direction my life hath veered.

    I still have not forgiven my family for their role in my complicated life.

    Why do they accuse Me?

    Who are THEY to judge?

    Have they walked a mile in my shoes, or even a few steps?

    Have they braced themselves for the fear of the Unknown, and the Fear of the KNOWN?

    Have they wandered or pondered on the trails that I have ran along? Literally sank my feet into the mud and the guts of things.

    Have they sung the songs that I have sang, felt the pain that I have felt, or made the MISTAKES that I have made?

    They know NOT what THEY have DONE....TO ME.

    And for their sake,
    for their safety,
    for their well being,
    I pray they will never know the depths of the darkness in my soul that I have seen?

    I pray they will never feel the injustice I have felt.

    I pray they will never feel the sting of being stabbed in the front by those you call sister, doctor, and FRIEND.

    I pray they know not what they have done or the monster they have created.

    For if they did know,
    if THEY did SEE,
    they would see..................ME.

    I do not want to be seen in this light,
    NOT NOW,
    not EVER.

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    SILKYTWEED commented on Not now, Please, NOT EVER


    Powerful Write and the emotions I felt are filled with ominous and dread, well done and I hope that thru writing this piece there is some sort of relief that can be felt....Thanks for sharing!

    cmlestrade commented on Not now, Please, NOT EVER


    Myabe it hurts so much because it's family. Hopefully all will turn out well.

    TwistedAngel commented on Not now, Please, NOT EVER


    Hun i know all to well how you feel....Is the same way with my family, i don't see or talk to them much b/c of the past....You done a great job hun.....XOXOX Anna



    Thanks for the support, sometimes they do get in the way, but I think they do mean well.

    Ness commented on Not now, Please, NOT EVER


    This one was pretty heavy for me, written after some bad life news.

    A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. It finds the thought and the thought finds the words.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    Ness’s Poems (5)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    The Taking 3
    Weeping Willow 3
    Life 5
    Not now, Please, NOT EVER 4
    Today IS THE Day 4