Not now, Please, NOT EVER

4 Comments

Tags:
  • Angst
    • Ness
    • is enjoying the nice Sunday evening...

    Not now, Please, NOT EVER

    This is not a quiet struggle.

    Mine has been public.

    Humiliating, agonizing, frustrating, hard.

    I still have not made full peace with the things that have happened or the direction my life hath veered.

    I still have not forgiven my family for their role in my complicated life.

    Why do they accuse Me?

    Who are THEY to judge?

    Have they walked a mile in my shoes, or even a few steps?

    Have they braced themselves for the fear of the Unknown, and the Fear of the KNOWN?

    Have they wandered or pondered on the trails that I have ran along? Literally sank my feet into the mud and the guts of things.

    Have they sung the songs that I have sang, felt the pain that I have felt, or made the MISTAKES that I have made?

    They know NOT what THEY have DONE....TO ME.

    And for their sake,
    for their safety,
    for their well being,
    I pray they will never know the depths of the darkness in my soul that I have seen?

    I pray they will never feel the injustice I have felt.

    I pray they will never feel the sting of being stabbed in the front by those you call sister, doctor, and FRIEND.

    I pray they know not what they have done or the monster they have created.

    For if they did know,
    if THEY did SEE,
    they would see..................ME.

    I do not want to be seen in this light,
    NOT NOW,
    not EVER.

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    SILKYTWEED commented on Not now, Please, NOT EVER

    08-19-2009

    Powerful Write and the emotions I felt are filled with ominous and dread, well done and I hope that thru writing this piece there is some sort of relief that can be felt....Thanks for sharing!

    cmlestrade commented on Not now, Please, NOT EVER

    08-07-2009

    Myabe it hurts so much because it's family. Hopefully all will turn out well.

    TwistedAngel commented on Not now, Please, NOT EVER

    06-20-2009

    Hun i know all to well how you feel....Is the same way with my family, i don't see or talk to them much b/c of the past....You done a great job hun.....XOXOX Anna

    Ness

    06/20/2009

    Thanks for the support, sometimes they do get in the way, but I think they do mean well.

    Ness commented on Not now, Please, NOT EVER

    06-18-2009

    This one was pretty heavy for me, written after some bad life news.

    A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. It finds the thought and the thought finds the words.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    Ness’s Poems (5)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    The Taking 3
    Weeping Willow 3
    Life 5
    Not now, Please, NOT EVER 4
    Today IS THE Day 4