Ocean

I don’t know how long you expect me to stay here
In a vague mutual purgatory
Floating, drifting, among gray salty waves
Silence
Waves lapping against my raft
In the distance sometimes
A storm I watch and cover my head
Close my eyes as it closes in
And wait with conscious anticipation and dread for you to throw me around and turn over my boat
The funny thing about this is
That there are shores all around me and I’m sitting in a puddle
And all I need to do is get out and walk away
To where the birds are singing
Where the sun is shining
And I am a beautiful miracle of God
I keep telling myself “someday”
As I fast forward back
Into my ocean and become a miniscule speck
Less than noticeable to you
Just try to drink enough water to stay awake
And it tastes as different as I perceive you every day that passes
As I paint my soul with colors over the grey that splashes over and stains
To remind myself to keep in mind
To remember to find
And not forget
Who I really am in this wasteland