The blind Date
A so-called friend, came bustin in to the local coffee shopwhere I was havin breakfast, and drinkin coffee, that was hot.
He recalled, that I owed a favor, one that I had never paid
So he sat down, he-hawin' around; began talkin about this maid
Who, he told, would find a gentleman, just right for her to see.
He had searched around, none had been found; so it might as well be me!
I gulped and could not swallow, my bacon would not go down;
Does he really mean to tell me, I'm the only guy in town?
Arrangements was, already made, as he gave me an address,
An told me she'd be wearin, an orange polka dotted dress.
I only had, five hours left and at once began to dread;
What I had let, myself in for, then thoughts came to my head.
She wouldn't be a beauty queen, to this, there was no doubt,
Or she wouldn't be a datin blind, or with just anyone, go out.
Finally, the time arrived, I pulled up to her place, and before I
Had barely stopped, she was alookin in my face.
Grinnin like a 'chelsea cat' with thick lips, a cherry red,
I was stymied, and so confused, I couldn't tell what she'd said.
I was wondering if it was an accent or if she had a lisp, but
I sure didn't want to smear, that lipstick, on those lips!
She wallered in, and gasped for breath, the seatbelt was too short,
My poor car was a leanin, from the starboard to the port'
The frame creaked from the strain as she finally settled down.
I think she said she worked, with the city, in the nearby town.
She could have been a "sidewalk tester" from weight she carried roun
I could see them crack or buckle, as they sank into the ground.
I, was gonna ask her choice, of where she'd prefer to go,
To a country drive in movie or an inside picture show?
She said to buy a sack of burgers and find a place to park
She was so hungry, she could eat her weight, at least till it got dark.
I just finally had to tell her it was late and I must go, that my
Stomach was really achin and I couldn't take a show.
I really do hate to have to fib, but sometimes it's the best
If my friend ever mentions "blind date" I will smack him in the chest!
He oughta help me pay the dammage to my car and to the springs,
Or she could name the baby after him, would be the proper thing!
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