Wanted to be with you.

3 Comments

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  • Life

    Wanted to be with you.

     Wanted to be with you.
    Thought I had you I
    guess I was wrong.

    You didn't want me at all.
    I often wonder what really Happened.
    Been with you for a few years.

    Now you tell me where not committed
    So I guess that means we are threw.
    You say where not going to make it.
    That tells me you don't want to.
    So now what do I do. Tell me I
    don't want to be lead on by false hope.
    My heart can't take it any more. If you don't
    want me I need to close the door. It won't open
    for you no more.

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    danmartyjake1 commented on Wanted to be with you.

    01-13-2010

    I like the story line and there are a few typos, but generally a good write. (Where would be spelled we're. Threw would be through.) Use of correct tense at the end "any more", might read a bit better. But I got the sense of it. Very emotional and sad. Keep writing.
    Reply to Comment

    eddie14 commented on Wanted to be with you.

    12-07-2009

    WOW GREAT WORK AND TRUE FROM DEEP WITHIN IF HE DONT WANT YOU DONT OPEN THE DOOR TO THE B.S. CLOSE THE DOOR TO THAT PAST. BUT LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN FOR A NEW MAN TO ENTER ALL MEN ARE NOT A.H.'S LOL
    Reply to Comment

    ladyinblack1972

    12/08/2009

    Thank you for your comment. I'm glad you liked it.

    dahlusion commented on Wanted to be with you.

    11-16-2009

    "It won't open for you no more. " — poetically powerful!!
    Reply to Comment

    ladyinblack1972

    12/01/2009

    Thanks for reading my poem. If you have any advice about my writtings let me know. Thank you.

    When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

    John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

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