June 12, 2009

Another day,

It started out fine,

But as the daylight hours

Dwindled away

The telephone would ring……

Picking up the receiver, I answered,

“Hello”,

Through the shattered voice

I heard her sob…..

We’d been expecting it

But that didn’t make the news any better.

She merely had to mention his name

“Bob….

Passed this evening.”

For a moment my heart stopped

Then in anger I threw the phone.

It wasn’t that I had spent the day

Lulling away the hours….but,

I didn’t get to say good-bye…….

Tell him how much I loved him ……

Hold his soft aging hand ….

Or see the smile on his face…..

Just one last time.

My big (little) brother had

Given up the fight

In order to see the golden light

Of a better home beyond the sky.

Although, I am almost sure

Mama and Daddy were there

To greet him in Paradise,

And I’m sure that should be enough

My thoughts to suffice,

I wasn’t ready to let him go.

Did he know

When I saw him last

And his forehead kissed

Just how very much

His person would be missed

On this earth?

Did he know how sorry

I was for the stupid

Things I’d done that affected his life?

Or that while he was in pain,

My heart ached for him?

Or that I shared his pain?

Did he know how much

I loved him?

How much I thought of him?

How much I cared?

Or will these questions forever haunt me?

tlh 2009 ©