My Father's Passing

Sunlight's wave washes
across the bed where you lie
sprinkling light drops in through the curtain
then immersing us not drowning
but it doesn't wash
the stain from my soul
I hear the hymns
asking you
how many times
did you sing these
anthems of glory
anthems of praise?
we both know
how this one will end
where you are at
does it tell you I'm here?
holding your hand
trembling while you slide deeper away
This new day arrives
but the promises restrained
by time nudging forward
leaving quiet resolve
You asked last week
if you were dying
I calmly assured you
stumbling on a knee was not fatal
but it was I who tripped
falling and failing to see
a stairway was opening
leading to heaven
My resistance of
this farewell
covers tracks of
lessons routinely discarded
Acceptance sneaking in
the back door like
how I use to come home
late hoping not to be caught
phases of life begin stiffly
appearing like those stadium cards
choreographed for television
for the fans to hold 
in their seats
in my seat there is
no excitement of
what is to be revealed
as it's been choreographed too
these moments linger still
floating in my memory
serenely soaking my senses
no longer painful
our truce began long ago
a peace fire
burning controlled
yet never extinguished
the battle for stubbornness
leaving a dry brittle draw
we've locked out
the forest as it dared us
to strike a match
unleashing control
we contained it keeping
the family tree growing
budding and branching
now pruning will shape
future relationships with
neatly trimmed family
balanced, now celestially
swaying on uncertainties ledge
listen again to angelic voice
singing hymns so familiar
time edges us toward
realization of gratitude
you and me so much alike
yet separated now as contentment
comes rolling in like waves
distinguishes that fire finally
as we warmly embrace the
newly flowing blessings
But you will never feel the sunlight's wave
washing across the bed where you use to lie