Shopping

1 Comments

Tags:
  • Inspirational

    Shopping
    I need a new heart
    For my old one is broken
    And courage for these words unspoken

    I need a new brain
    Cause my memories are jaded
    And the strength not to make the same mistakes

    I need new skin
    Cause im not comfortable in mine
    Ill try not to screw it all up this time

    I need new eyes
    Cause I only see good
    I want to see only the things that I should

    And I need new hands
    To make use of my soul
    My intentions are good but my deeds should control

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    Rottiestyl commented on Shopping

    09-08-2009

    I like your concept here. This is a nicely though out piece but I have a few personal pet peeves which does not mean you have to change a thing on my behalf. I hate the " punctuation police" and hate being reviewed on punctuation but comma use with words like " I'll and I'm" are really needed here. Your rhyme is pretty good not to easy although the second stanza had none. Intentional? If it was It still worked quite well. I liked this. K. Mulroney
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is what gets lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    Claude’s Poems (19)

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    Retrospect 0 03/05/2009
    Counting days 0 03/05/2009
    Edel Araiza 0 03/05/2009
    Dennys 0 03/05/2009
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    The struggle 5 02/21/2009
    Quest-shun 2 02/21/2009
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