with head hung low and eyes closed

receiving the blows

to my mind, body and spirit

not willing to cry

the many tears I've held inside

over the years trying

to hold on while hands are prying

opening the doors to my heart

knees to the floor as I fall apart

on the inside

wanting to rinse my mind, body and spirit

searching for my inner beauty

but I've lost it

along with myself

the little girl I once knew is long gone

tainted was she

her world painted

black and blue

with a hint of red

from people she knew

wandering eyes

moving feet

a glass house

life on the street

getting beat

with mistrust

lack of faith and disgust

clouds of negativity

so thick I cant see

what tomorrow holds

voices, voices in her head

stranger, stranger in her bed

thoughts of being dead

daily full of dread

of going home

yes, her home

where she did not belong

prison bars withholding her freedom

her voice chained up, locked down

silence . . .

did u hear it?

her heart calling for someone

anyone

who will listen

to the story of the little girl I once knew

Tainted was she

her world painted

black and blue

with a hint of red

disdain from the life she lived

what she wouldnt give

for just one day when her existence wasnt ignored

looking for

that one day when she would finally matter

instead her dreams were splattered

for no one cared enough to help her gather

all that was lost

and so today

I'm searching for that day

When with head held high

I can proudly say

here I am

for that little girl I once knew

Tainted was she

her world painted

black and blue

with a hint of red