Because of yu.. I've Learned to hate Me
I hate myself, i hate my life,i wanna leave, i have tryed but u turned on me and used my son as a weapon..i wanna die,u call my crazy any ways so why not do it the easy way
i can't deal with all this pain
it's the same thing day after day,
nothing changes it never will change..been over 2 months..sadly to say but its true..and well honestly i cant keep living here like this ..we go out around yur family and u act as if every thing is ok..like were best friends and lovers ..ha yea right well im tired of it now i cant keep fakein the smile when deep inside im dieing of hurtful pain..the hateful things u say 2 me when we are home..the bi-polar jokes,the grabing my arms as if it was funny 2 yu..well it's time 4 everyone to know who u really are..LIFE is'nt meant to be this way ! U call me irresponsible,say that im not appreciative,and at the same time congrat me on looking pretty..well beauty isnt all that i have to offer ( i thought u knew that )..even tho u make comments now and then like"yur a smart girl u just need to put sum action to yur life(as if yu were goin to bE that ACTION ) and i hate it when u say that ("yur the gift to all women) cuz u know what they want and how they think..u really need to stop reading those books,and magazines"well guess it's time 4 me to be happy..tired of askin u do u love me and u say yes but u cant explain WHY.. so im leaving..by diein away from u
the only way to stop this pain
is with the bullet that lays in my hand.from yur gun.
there's another opinion i can take
i can call my best friend and hope he's awake
(but i know what u wud say like always) "it's either them or me"hmm tryin to pick my friends..but u say your not the jealous type maybe if you would have taken the time to listen to me instead of drinking all the time..this would b different i don't know what to do i should have seen this comming when i noticed yu liked young girls inthere 20's crazy cuz yur profile says yur 18 and yur really 40+..i don't know what to say, except express my pain..
i have to say my last good byes and hope that the next lady doesnt get caught up in your suductive words .. as bad as i did and if she does god i pray she doesnt believe u and gets away..b4 u say i want to marry u like u did me..no 1 deserve a guy that is only real around his friends u shud b yur self at all times...because of u I've learned to hate me and life it self but i know ill get back on track with out you in my life... by"Jess
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