HP

4 Comments

Tags:
  • Inspirational

    HP
    I can't explain,
    pain and gain

    is it me?

    credit for my life
    and all within
    all I am,
    and have been,

    in the stars and in bars
    in my car, way out far

    24/7, 100%,
    I'm only needed to be absent

    if I get in the way
    I ruin my day

    maybe I just need to pray




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    jesus commented on HP

    05-20-2009

    TOhis poem does follow stanza well but, I feel, that more expression could have been used to get his posirion across. but other than, it was a great poem!Perhaps the idea of praying (the subject of the poem) could have beeen brought up sooner.
    Reply to Comment

    jesus commented on HP

    05-20-2009

    This poem is good. I feel it is very heart felt. Perhaps when the poet was writing this he may have been feeling down or he may have been at a low point in his life. Now, ordinarily, this would sound dismal, but some of our best poetry comes when we are nost at our best. This poem sounded as if this man had come to a by pass, the choice had been hard but he made it and nohe was ready to move further.
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    BrielleC commented on HP

    03-14-2009

    nicely written! love the flow and the beat it has!interesting title too!
    Reply to Comment

    Plot121 commented on HP

    03-14-2009

    intresting poem the flow was real good, I think if you allow the reader more detauil your work would really shine through. Robert...
    Reply to Comment

    When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

    John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

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