• iLuvPoetryJACOB
  • Poetry will always emerge out of the shadows of depression, shining like a star in the scarcity of light.

Poem Commentary

--the picture was drawn by Dawn Marie Black

If

If you were the stars, and I was the moon,

I’d hug you to make the darkness seem bright.

If I were a gardener, and you were a flower,

I’d put the sun above your delicate petals.

If I were the sea, and you were a fish,

I’d make my waters safe for you.

If I were the sky, and you were a cloud,

I’d make my vast body blue and clear.

If I were the wind, and you were the snow,

I’d let you fall to the ground with grace.

If you were a candle, and I were the flame,

I would never die out.

If I were a mountain, and you were the sun,

My peak would always touch you.

If. . . . .

Poem Comments

(2)

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ginga commented on If

01-03-2010

JACOB, I like what you did here with the word "if." Believe it or not I won the weekly contest with a poem titled "IF" and it was not one of my blockbuster poems, but a thinking outside the box style poem that the judges liked. You are writing maturely for a young poet. Keep up the good work. ginga

iLuvPoetryJACOB

01/03/2010

Yes, I read that one, very good! I thought the idea was so original and unique. It was a fun poem to read. A well-deserved win! Thank you for the kind words. Really. --Natalie.

To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

iLuvPoetryJACOB’s Poems (51)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Home of My Soul, Timeless Lake 3
Untitled (4 Haiku) 3
White Feathers, Like Snow (3 Haiku) 3
I Will Not Be Your Teddy Bear 3
The Raven's Symphony 2
Looking at my Rain Spattered Window 3
Artificial Dreamland 4
I Am No Longer Your Lovely Mess; I Am a Broken Wine Glass 4
Tiger Please Rid Me of my Sin 2
Mom and Dad 2
Broken Reflection 1
Halo of Leaves 2
Majestic 0
As I Watch You Sleep 0
Sky Demon 1
A Somber Wood 2
Rage That Has Me Trapped 1
Seven Suits of Armor 1
Never Saw the Day (haiku) 0
Sorrows in the Dust 0
Swimming in Sapphire Eyes 0
The Song Sung by the Birds 1
Glint of Forgotten Memories 1
Ice Chamber 1
Hidden Peace 1
We Are Warriors (Inspired by the movie Avatar) 2
Kissed By The Moon 2
You Are My Flower 1
Living In The Past 1
If 2
Canvas of Ebony 2
Just Another Trash Can, Isn’t It? 2
Winter's Gift 1
This Is For The King (What A Christmas) 0
Sweet Memories (Good-Bye) 0
For My Country 0
Days Of Our Lives 0
Here Comes The Rain 2
Lightning 1
Mary Jane 0
THE SIGHT OF VICTORY 2
Trapped Behind The Glass 0
Unworthy Throne 0
Shiny Penny 0
Nature's Jewel 1
Protective Shadows 0
Under The Covers 0
Nothing To Break Your Fall 1
Lovely Soul 2
Blind Sorrow 1
Trapped Water 1