My Secret

Its not under lock and key
Its stuck into a small stained envelope
Then stuffed into the old black trunk in the basement of my soul
It’s the rock in one of the shoes I thought I lost
It’s in my remote under the button to press pause
Its seeped into the fibers of my bones
Its swept under my couch at home
Put into the smallest part of myself so it can get never get free
This secret is going to be the death of me
This poison
That makes me hold back the biggest part of myself
But how could I ever again get the courage to trust?
Opening up to possibilities is what led me to this point
To the point where I can feel this thing squirming in my joints
It might sound a little carried away
But I want you to see how much it affects me
How this one thing can inflict so much misery
I sit on the bus and think about just telling someone
Just so even for a moment I don’t have to bear it alone
This secret has twisted my soul and my mind into this person
I sometimes don’t even recognize
This person who fabricates lies
But what do you expect me to do?
It’s easier to just cover it up when I have to.
Maybe one day it will be different
Hope so