When men prepare for sex there are just too many rules
his handy dandy tool belt just doesn't have the tools
she looks him in the eye, says "The oven must be warmed"
he dashes for the kitchen, he is ready to perform
but then discovers on return, they do not speak the same
She speaks to him in riddles, poor man is not to blame

"You can't expect the heat to rise on nothing but a wish
a meal takes time to ready, I'm not a fast food dish
he says "I brought some wine and it will speed the chase"
but NO in every lanquage is written on her face
She says she's like a bank account, deposits for return
She speaks a foreign lanquage he hasn't time to learn

"You got to prime the pump before you take a drink 
I do not lay upon command like water from the sink"
He stands bewidered in a haze, what is it that she wants?
If he can't understand her, how does he give response?
She is to him a mystery and he can not fathom her need
She speaks some silly lanquage that he is unable to read

What can he do to understand this living rubic cube
how does he get her ready and in the proper mood
the bottle is uncorked the stove is turned on hot
all he's done is of no use, he can not warm the pot
"You must begin on Monday and woo me every day
by Sunday I"ll be ready and you shall have your way"

If I started on a Monday and woo'd you every day
so long a wait before reward seems insufficient pay
deposit given one day, that day should bring reward
you need an awful lot of time, how much can I afford?
"If all you have to give me is but a single day
then you can have the menu but not the whole buffet"

So here is man on Monday, he's still a week away
She won't be home till Sunday and won't come out to play
All he has is promise, a bunch of hoops and silly rules
In a week he won't remember why he has the family jewels
but if by chance he gets there and doesn't make mistake
clever women that she is, will find herself a head ache!