...300 million people... here, in the United States. I think it's that. The, or what I mean is, "my world" is falling apart. I hate it! I looked for "the dream", maybe not long enough, but I did look for "the dream." I can't blame anyone. I do not want to. I am just "me" and always will be "me." What was I even looking for? Why so many directions? Why so many choices? I think I know what I am missing, "family." I went wrong when I thought I would find success and then start a "family." I forgot all about the "family" I grew up in. I forgot that there was a time clock on how long we live. I forgot I was 40 years younger than my dad and 32 years younger than my mom. I forgot my kids won't have a grandma and grandpa. I forgot I wouldn't have a mom and dad. I forgot I wouldn't have a home to come home to if I needed to. My mistakes gave me opportunities, but I feel selfish. I found no reward to share. I had big dreams of fame and fortune. If I quit now, for sure the end of the game. If I keep going, the pain comes too. I don't know what else to do other than the road I have chosen. I hurt now because in your eyes I am "the dream" and in my eyes I am in pain. I went to the doctor to ask if I am insane. 300 million people and only myself I blame.