Depression, confusion overwhelming,
in the darkness the tears come.
She fights the urge to slip back into the old ways,
She wants relief but it evades her, she wants some
freedom from the overwhelming thoughts in her mind.

She crys endlessly for no apparent reason
other than she cannot seem to escape the past,
She runs a hot bath to try and relax.
Slips into the bubbles in the darkness, old memories flood her mind so fast.
In the candlelight, she searches her mind for another way.

But she finds the Blade so enticing, she picks it up running it over her arm;
smooth and cold she feels the edge, pulls it away,
crys again, runs the blade up and down, she looks down and sees her arm
has been cut, she didn't mean to but she had to, nothing to say;
she continues to slice her way to the relief sought.

Blood flows clean and strong she lays her arms in the hot water;
she feels the relief overwhelming, lets go of the things that before,
she could not. The water turning pink; she wonders if she cut too deep.
She looks no she has not, hearing a knock at the door.
She is suddenly ashamed of what she has done.

Quickly she hides her tool, wondering why she had slipped. She knows;
she will have to hide the wounds from the worlds glaring eyes,
For no-one understands the reasons why, she hates the judgement.
She is getting better but, knows that broken promises are just lies,
That will come out, she will have to explain to her loved ones.

That once again she has slipped, she hates the cover up;
but it must be done, for no-one hears and nobody understands why.
So she will promise herself to be stronger and let nobody know.
She hides the cuts and pretends it never happened, She will try
harder not to slip, but she has learned no more promises will she make.

So quietly she cleans up, feeling better in so many ways
but worries that her secret will be found out and she wont be able to hide
then she will have to explain, and words won't be found.
She will cry and tell them she tried.
They won't understand but why should they?
She doesn't understand it herself.