Unfortunately the price that i had to pay was higher than I expected.
Little did I know this payment would have such an effect on me that it would cause me, by people, to be rejected.
Questions were asked and pondered, but no one every asked questions to understand me for me.
But more concerned about which I desired, he or she

Whispers and rumors fly from person to person from those that know me and those that know of me.
There were times i asked God why me and i often thought I would be better being hung from a tree.
But despite the things I went through and endured, all is not lost.
Sometimes we go through things not for ourselves but for others that don't have the strength to endure, so i don't regret paying the cost.

A little graphic I might have been,
but it was only to show you that everybody has a story that majority of the time they have stored up, locked up, and held in.
I wrestle with my sexuality from time to time, so much that I give out a stressful sigh.
Questions linger in my head, am i gay, am I straight or am I just simply bi

Don't get me wrong i know the truth for me when it comes to spiritual things.
but the battle is letting go of things imparted into me at a young age and letting them fly away with eagle wings.
Hmmm, so judge if you must, like others have, digging ditches for the one they've judged with their mouths, contributing to the scarring of their hearts and their emotional and mental state.
But don't be surprised if you or someone in your family or someone
close to you falls to the same fate.

Oh i know some will say it will never happen to me,
or some will even say what you don't know won't hurt you, now that is the key.
For most will not tell their story, for fear of thoughts and opinions of themselves from others.
so instead of facing the storm, they'll just take refuge in themselves and and put up the defensive wall and covers.

I do not throw nor have i ever thrown a pity party about things that's happened in the past.
For living there will cause you to die and life as we know it will fade away and for you it will be the last.
I forgave even as a child then because of what I was taught.
For forgiveness for your sins aren't predicated on what they've done to you but what you choose to do towards them and can neither be sold or bought.

So don't think ill of the man that introduced me to that thing that called me early in life.
Sex is it's name, the one thing later in time I could not control, the one thing that keeps me single and enables me from fully committing and finding a wife.
It's a weakness for me but I have it under control now.
So the next time you go to judge one that acts differently than you do, remember what I've shared with you and just pray, God help my mind and my thoughts towards them, help me to understand and most of all help them to find you and to correct their ways oh Lord somehow.

 This is my truth, my life and my reality, just pray for me and thanks God it didn't happen to you..........