Sometimes I feel like an open book with many open or unfinished chapters, Wanting the book to be read but ashamed of stories written on pages that seem to have no end. Sometimes I feel like a closed book with many closed and finished chapters, Never wanting the book to be read again simply because of being ashamed of the things that are written that even I never want to read again.

 
Today I write not to rhyme or to tickle emotions but to allow the thoughts in my heart, mind and soul to flow. Realizing that holding things inside can often be a silent killer, so i write to live and to be free as an eagle soaring the royal blue skies.

 I think about the eagle sometimes, how he represents freedom and life. I often wonder how an eagle seems to soar above all trials tribulation and all aspects of life, appearing to be full of energy, joy, contentment and seems to be on top of his game at all times to others that watch from afar. But others fail to see the broken wing he has, the pain and the trouble that it has trying to fly. Not wanting others to see, he puts on a front that he's perfectly alright, but the whole time he's flying he struggles to hide the pain of flying with a broken wing.

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So it seems with others as well as myself, we go on with our lives appearing to be alright, smiling, laughing. Appearing to be living to others yet we're only existing to ourselves. Carrying around brokenness from many people, places and things. Many tears are shed, feelings of despair, thoughts of suicide, the spirit of depression creeps in, the desire to do many inappropriate things come to haunt us in private. We reach out and scream for help in our own way, and no one seems to hear or pay attention to us in our many efforts to regain our stability and focus. It's almost as if we're in a glass bottle and the world observes us with every motion of helplessness and are able to see us only.

Sometimes, like the book on the shelf that has collected dust on it, with the faded title, torn cover and fringed pages, you sometimes wonder will people ever except you for you and not for who they want you to be. Will they pick you up and dust you off and take the torn cover and open you up and realize by the turning of every fringed page that there's a story that was designed to help them at some point and time. Will they realize that the reason for the torn cover and fringes on the fringed page came from life's experiences and that simply because it survived the test of time, although torn and fringed, it's worth reading.

I found out that knowledge is acquiring or the gathering of facts, and wisdom is the ability in knowing how to use the knowledge. With that being said , sometimes you wonder what is my purpose, why was my story written, why is my story being written, why did I have to go through all the things I went through? It's simple because through your experiences you gain knowledge and now you have the wisdom on how to use the knowledge you've gained; therefore you're able to help others that will come traveling down the same path, and oh they will come.

Even those that looked over you and refused to take the time to read you because they judged you by your faded title, torn cover and fringed pages will eventually travel down the path one day. And when they come traveling down that path, when they've tried every option the path has to give them they eventually get weak and began to faint. But before they faint they happen to look over and see the old dusty book that they refuse to read. So they eventually grab the book, take the time to dust it off and read the title, rub the torn cover, open it up and began to read the story that is written on the fringed pages.

As they read, they gain strength, as they read they gain direction, as they read they gain knowledge and wisdom, and they read they realize that the have gained a true friend with substance and while reading, they hear something above them, it's the eagle reminding flying higher than ever before. Flying to remind them of who they used to be, where they used to be and who they are now and where they are now. So to those that read this I ask that you live and write to be free so that those that read your story will also live form the knowledge and wisdom that you've imparted into them.