The Song of Orpheus


  • JAlden
  • After a couple years gone, I think it's about time I made a return. Time to upload some poetry.

The Song of Orpheus

And the harpist walked throughout the lands,
Of the poets, before none could stand,
But a drunken god's rabble thought ill,
The lad Orpheus, thought they should kill.
Poor sweet Orpheus paid them no heed,
For of darkest despair did the young
Poet sing, of love gained, and love lost
And insufferable pain was the cost.
And then stirred into pity for he,
Did the world and her creatures all weep,
They gave way, and gave food, so not weak
Would he grow, and forever would speak.
But the rabble knew nought of his dirge,
So they thought he made jest of their fun,
And so mindless did they do their wrong,
To bring end to the good poet's song.
But as hard as they tried not a stone
Would adhere, for the song was too sweet
To be killed, can such madness be real?
This dark task did they take up with zeal.
If sweet music can savage beast yield, 
Then perhaps they heard not what he sang
For such beauty's in music to see,
In his sorrow and deep misery.
But in volume did they raise their pitch,
And soon nothing could hear what he cried
So the rocks flew unmissing, and done
Like St. Stephen, he died for the one.
But the pastures are greener in death,
With his love, now united at last,
With the one who he'll now never miss,
Thus immortal, in undying bliss.
So his song at last came to a close,
With his sorrow, an end to all woes,
But new music shall Orpheus sing,
Of sweet Joy, and of love conquering.

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dahlusion commented on The Song of Orpheus


A decent idea, and some of the rhymes are a bit contrived...and the rhythm or flow tends to bog down in places. Sounds like a good first draft. Keep working on it, make it tight, so tight that it squeezes my brain when I read the second draft.

RHPeat commented on The Song of Orpheus


J/ Nice cadence and rhymes. smooth flowing for the most part. Closure is a bit rough, how about: This new music shall Orpheus sing/ For a joy and a love conquering.) Just a thought. Nice poem. a poet friend/ RH Peat.



Thank you! I just edited the poem, because I agree with what you said, but for some reason it won't let me go back to stanzas. This formatting is killing me. Thank you for your advice!

wheelsal commented on The Song of Orpheus


What a read from someone only sixteen. You write with a maturity it has taken me a lifetime to learn.

UnworthyFather commented on The Song of Orpheus


Really Great!!! Orpheus is one of my favorites as well. Oh, if only we could be as such! To visit the very pits of Hades, and not lose the power of our words, nor the music of our hearts! I like the way that you portrayed that death may end his song, but not kill his voice. That is a very deep metaphor, but you used it well. Really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing. 10 from me.

GentleT commented on The Song of Orpheus


Another piece mastered! Great love and lost love and reunion of love. With music as the back drop. Beautiful.



I was trying to retell the story of Orpheus as told by Ovid in his "Metamorphoses." Orpheus always intrigued me because he wasn't a strong, typical hero. He was a poet. A poem about a heroic poet I thought was rather apropos. I'm glad you liked it!

The true philosopher and the true poet are one, and a beauty, which is truth, and a truth, which is beauty, is the aim of both.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet (1803-1882)

JAlden’s Poems (20)

Title Comments
Title Comments
The Phantom and the Beast 0
The Artist 1
The Place I Know 0
Making Sense of Things 1
The Star Beyond My Sight 0
The Greatest Gift 1
Meditations on a Hillside 0
For Christine 0
Conversing With the Stars 1
A Quiet Nighttime Meditation 1
The Song of Orpheus 5
The Hall of Memory 6
Avalon 2
My Dove 3
On Life 2
The Dreaded Book of Nevermore 2
To the Sylph 1
The Olympian 2
A Lullaby 3
Your Eyes 3