thinking about life

     was he ever really happy?
     not from the photos i see
     most fathers are happy when they take a picture with there family
     but not he.As i look back on memeories
     i wondered why he really ask to marry me?
     i had his 1st child and maybe he was scared,but not to me
     maybe he was not really feelin me
     was i his trap for why he didnt really leave?
     i thought things were good,at the age of 15
     what do u really know about love?age 17 i said i do
     by the age of 20 for him,he played cool
     had another child by him,this time life became more
     than he was my man,now hes a father to 2 kids and my husband
     they say things as children grow,many man grow up
     and take hold,so many learn the facts of life
     many still stay a boy and never learn life
     all the arguments left us a stray
     i finally left the place i called home
     moved to a place far far away from where i belong
     only to see the one i truly loved act so differently
     right in front of my face,i thought i knew him
     but behind my back he would forget me
     it took many many years for me to finally leave him
     to say i walk away from it all and nothing could keep him
     from actin the way he was,they say u cant change a person
     but from a man u can change,i thought he was my one n only
     in time i see some men dont care if your lonely
     was he ever really happy with the fact that i wont take his mess?
     was he ever really happy that i am raising his kids?
     will he ever see that in time how he did me wrong
     how all of this came to me putting him out his home
     he blames me for all the name calling,but i blame him for all his wrongs
     basically nobody is perfect,but never settle for less ladies when we know
     we deserve more than what a man is giving out
     put God 1st and u can never go wrong,
     this man might put you through pain but God will carry u and ur soul
     some u win and some u lose,what you didnt learn back then
     you can now be able to choose,its them or its you?which one u choose?