Walking In The Rain

3 Comments

Poem Commentary

for cassandra.

peace and love forever,

andrew neal

Walking In The Rain

Walking in the rain
by andrew neal


oh what has happened to the sun?
dont you know that what you did cannot be undone?
you caused me much heartache and pain
and now im walking in the rain
where will i go, oh if only i knew
for no direction im going will lead me back to you

things will never be the same
as long as im walking in the rain
im lost in a fog of love and confusion
and your love was a mere illusion
how could i fall for this childish play
you never loved me anyway

and now im walking in the rain
and on my heart im left with a permanent stain
of all the constant strain
you left me to my disdaine

but no more will i cry in vain
no more will i feel the shame
though still ill be walking in the rain
till im rescued from this heartbroken pain

oh sun will you ever come out?
i dont know how much longer i can stand this drought
until you shine again, pensive i will remain
and still ill be walking in the rain
oh sun dont be shy
just shine your light across the sky

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WhisperingWind commented on Walking In The Rain

06-24-2009

The way you worded this is very beautiful...I feel your heart ache and pain...wonderful to read and easy to feel.

laydbak1 commented on Walking In The Rain

06-20-2009

This is a good write Andrew, and yes, the subject isn't new, but you make a good case for going through the pain of losing a love, even if it wasn't a deserving one.. I think you may have over-rhymed a bit here with this one which seems to take away somewhat from the point of emotional feeling with it... Just a suggestion, but maybe go with an alternate rhyming sequence to break it up a little, and give the emotions more emphasis with their exposure in verse... Still a good read....

godfatherguy88

06/20/2009

thanks for ur comment! i usually rhyme alot like this because its meant to be a song. I usually write song lyrics so thats why. but thatnks for the advice!!! i appreciate it! peace and love -andrew

CongoNetherland commented on Walking In The Rain

06-20-2009

Very cool rhyme. I like it a lot. The topic is tired, but it hits the spot. We all can relate, unfortunately, to this miserable state! Well done. (Why can't I, this poem rate . . .?)

Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

godfatherguy88’s Poems (26)

Title Comments
Title Comments
I Gotta Be Strong.......
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The One You Love 3
Sunflower 2
Life On My Rooftop 1
I See Your Face Appearing 1
Forever Your's 0
Someday 0
Walking In The Rain 3
Every time I Look In Your Eyes 1
Will You Still Be Here In The Morning? 2
Sorrow 5
I Love You 2
Simplicity 0
Yes 2
Seasons 2
Living In Black And White 3
Something Beautiful 0
One Day We'll Find A Way 0
Goodbye (Seems Like The Hardest Thing To Say) 1
It Happened One Night 0
Allright 0
In Time To Come 0
This Heart Of Mine 3
Thats Just The Way It Goes 1
If Only For A Moment 3
If It Were So 0