Bashful Brian and the Waggle Dance

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  • Po8ree
  • check out a uk site I am o called writeoutloud.net.

Poem Commentary

my first attempt, I hope Penguin books like it

Bashful Brian and the Waggle Dance

 

Down in the valley,

not far from the sea,

lives Brian Bumble,

a bashful bee.

 

He worked in a field,

for hours and hours,

gathering the food,

from all the flowers.

 

Brian was hungry,

at the end of his shift.

He went to the cafe,

in the hives, lift.

 

Whilst eating his pud,

‘Rhubarb Crumble’,

he saw the hive princess,

Heather Humble.

 

 

 

When Heather was near,

he got very hot.

His face went bright red,

his wings in a knot.

 

The pollen harvest was over,

the ‘Waggle Dance’ was near.

A ‘Hive Prince’ would be chosen,

for his special time of year.

 

As Heather left the cafe,

she gave him a ‘Royal Card’

The Queen had made Brian, Prince,

as he always worked hard.

 

Over the next few days,

the hive got a clean.

They even gave the floor,

a new waxy sheen.

 

Heather and Brian, dancing first,

learnt each dance number.

Brian blushed, looking in her eyes,

during a Waltz, Salsa and Rumba.

On the morning of the dance,

the Queen went on BBTV,

to tell the bumble bee nation,

the party started at three.

 

Brian and Heather took to the floor

lights  and camera’s from above,

gazing into each other’s eyes,

soon they were falling in love.

 

They would go for long walks,

along paths holding hands.

They would go sailing,

on leaves to different lands.

 

As the twinkling sunshine,

mixed with the stars by the sea,

Brian went on his knees saying,

“Heather, will you marry me?”

 

She said, “ I will marry you”,

feeling bashful and hot.

Her face went bright red,

her wings in a knot.

 

They were married next day,

by the Reverend Robin Reed

and flew to their honeymoon,

holding a dandelion seed

 

© Philip Golding 06/07/10

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Teardrops commented on Bashful Brian and the Waggle Dance

09-29-2010

Love the buzz and this poem its like how we wish human life could be you meet ,fall in love and marry and live happy ever after . Great write my friend Marie

Chaos128 commented on Bashful Brian and the Waggle Dance

09-29-2010

ha ha I like it. Warm and fuzzy, romantic tales always give me a buzz : )

kpeery09 commented on Bashful Brian and the Waggle Dance

09-26-2010

This is very nice, I find it to be interesting, and perfect for a write. Keep up the good work, the flow of the writing moved the poem so well. I give you a rating of 10.

Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

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