I lay on my back all sodding year, a forgotten waist land

Hair growing long waiting for a cut, a squashed a crop circle

Just look at multiple shades of green,  paint splattered nature

Parts have not been touched; you may find a new sub-species

Rain, rain, sleet, what! three days of warm sunshine

Whoopee, I got the works, lawn feed, No2 hair cut

I might have known he’s having another BBQ

Look at him, thinks he’s master-chef or Alan Titchmarsh

Dandy and his lions will soon be back on my green baize

I wish I could be with her next door, alternate green strips

Her name is Lorna. I would not turf her out of bed, I’ll tell you

‘Hey Lorna’, I shouted, ‘fancy a bit of ruff?’

Anyway my problems are over now, a young couple moved in

First I new was when I felt a sensual quivering in my blades

A 5-star machine arrived and said’ my name is Patrick Mower

© Phil Golding 18/08/2007