Laughter

3 Comments

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  • Sadness

    Laughter

     Where is the laughter?
    that once remembered, feels
    as distant as heaven
    to the one who does not Believe.

    Laughter that is not alive
    is dead to joy;
    as dead as the one
    who believes that living is worth

    a life without laughter.
    What is the purpose of life?
    To simply endure the years
    and suffer the passage of time?

    To endure? That is the illness
    that steals the laughter of life.
    And its departure
    demands submission to grief.

    And its laughter,
    without the presence of joy,
    is simply for the benefit of others,
    a pretense to be endured

    but not shared.
    Tell me!  Where is the medicine
    that will induce the laughter
    that will heal these ailing bones?

    Where did it go?
    Why was it taken away?
    Please, show me,
    show me how to find the laughter.

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    RHPeat commented on Laughter

    07-28-2009

    Jaycee/ Let's put a handle on some weird loose pots here. == remembered, feels==tense change remembers, feels or remembered, felt// is not alive is dead ===no kidding!, poor metaphor. // as dead as ==poor metaphor// Do you know any other verbs besides (is)? They might work well in this poem to create far more interest within its action. I like the intent here but I don't think the rhetorical questions are really rhetorical enough. They allow the reader to fill them in, which leads the reader out of the poem and away from the poem real intended content. I think (to endure?) works well. It is very rhetorical. The poem as a whole is very didactic and extremely telling and not showing. If you don't like pronouns your closure is supported by the word (it); You could change that. You might also want to try different kinds of laughter throughout the complete poem. maybe giddy or gay or gut-ripping gayety or even giggle, or chuckle and snicker, hoot, snort, cackle and chortled guffaw or even doubled over hysterics, might have offered more types of laughter to the piece instead of using laughter throughout in the contextual flow of the poem. The concept of the poem is given in the opening title. When I read the title I came into the poem thinking it was going to be positive about laughter. That it would speak about laughter and not the lack of it. I found this confusing and the wrong set up in the opening of the poem. It might be that the title here needs to have a word that doesn't submit the poem to that misconception at the very beginning. The title and the first stanza are the opening to the poem which set up the metaphor and the intent in the poem. A poet friend// RH Peat
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    If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

    Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

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