Leading to Sick Stomach

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    Poem Commentary

    I wrote this in my class I am now taking in this month of May. The class title is the Spoken Word mostly dealing with the use of Slam poetry and hip hop and everything else that comes with that. I was trying it out to see if I was doing it correctly and I still don't know if I am but I kinda like the poem...it's quite different from anything I've ever done before. Also, I would really like feedback. Thanks

    Leading to Sick Stomach

    This voice in my head won't be quiet
    It's giving me a deadly headache
    My vision is becoming blurry
    I'm losing my consciousness
    I will pass out very soon
    I can feel it creeping towards me
    My brain feels cranky and throws a fit
    Much like a caged animal from the wild
    This is not like my normal boredom
    I want to pluck my eyes out
    I want to feel the blood flowing
    And quiet my head and mind

    I'm starving for the nourishment
    My body's withering away slowly
    Not enough food in the home
    I'm starving from everything I know
    This headache is due to exhaustion
    Can't get sleep in my bedroom
    No meals except for supper
    It's all making me very weak
    I'm becoming fidgety and shaky
    Maybe like a seizure
    The boys are eating Subway
    And my mouth won't stop watering

    My sense of smell is irritating
    Making my head ache more
    I want to block out everything
    But my senses won't allow me
    Each smell burns my nose
    Each ray shocks my eyes
    Each hard seat hurts my body
    Each sound vibrates my brain to pain
    My legs are crawling; circulation gone
    The pulse is pounding at my temple
    It's like a balloon that's going to pop
    This pounding has been repeating
    Repeating like a broken record
    For three hours straight
    Same room, same chair, same light
    All leading to my sick stomach

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    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

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