Moving

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    • xdavidabramx
    • tear the petals off of you, make you tell the truth // Hole

    Poem Commentary

    I wrote this a few seconds ago, actually...

    Moving

     If I were to see Neptune I wouldn't be alive as I am now Each nerve trembling Shaking and convulsing With each mesmerizing memory of you I feel your senses rushing over mine Like a river clouded with blood The blood your river intermixes with mine I feel the twisting begin Inside of me lays the trigger That holds each careful thought of you So beautiful And so much like a mirror of my father Like a mirror of my brother Of those images you only see in films Arousal Keeps me coming on and on and on Like a mirror held to the light Held to the stained glass windows of my soul There's such a beautiful sun out tonight A beautiful son of ours A beautiful son of ours...

    Poem Comments

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    Platti commented on Moving

    06-07-2009

    very well written, however you should try and space it differently though, it kind of messes up the flow when it's all crowded together as such, I enjoyed it though, I love the way you said "Like a mirror held to the light, held to the stained glass windows of my soul." beautiful line
    Reply to Comment

    xdavidabramx

    06/09/2009

    Yeah for while, my computer was kind of acting moronic and making all of my spaces go together and everything, so... I think that's fixxed now though! thanx for the comment!

    In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

    Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

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