Circles

We spin in circles trying to find that one thing that will make it worth it.
That one thing we NEED
happiness.
Maybe thats what what makes me different.
I've since learned that this want of happiness is pointless, because maybe it doesn't exist.
What if there is no such thing?
That's like our concept of world peace or the end of world hunger.
It's not bad to strive for these things, but they will never happen.
And often in our conquest of happiness we tend to make others unhappy, (ironic isn't it?).
Lord knows i have, but as I have grown I have started to look for the profoundness of it all.
I don't know when exactly it happened,
but after a series of events I gave up on this happiness nonsense and gravitated towards profoundness.
Maybe I just want to know that this is all worth it.
I live for quotes and Postsecrets & analyze every song and everything people say.
My head is a jumbled mess of thoughts and my writing style is spastic and cluttered.
But that's because I try to take everything in at once. I feel everything and nothing at all.
I get angry easily and never let things go.
I have little faith in myself and question myself at all times.
I get overwhelmed easily, but my release is my quest for profoundness.
No matter what is wrong, anything meaningful makes it better.
Thinking prevents me from self destructing.
The only reason I am even writing this is because I'm angry, the reason for that is irrelevant.
I don't even know what I'm saying.
My thoughts spill out and this is the final product.
I bet you didn't peg me as a deep thinker. I don't care. I don't know who I am.
I don't even know what I want half of the time.
All I know is that on my quest for profoundness I have learned a lot of things-things i might not have liked to find out, but lessons learned all the same.
I have made many choices and hard decisions, but I can't say that i regret any of them because they have shaped me.
But I'm still looking-looking for the reason behind it all, for the thing that makes this all worth it.
I guess I'll just continue to spin in circles.