just a thought on a piece of paper but what these thoughts really mean
something's on my mind and to the unknown there is no way to trickle such a thought my guards like a barrier, a brick wall up protecting
against the winds of the unconcerned standing firm and strong in deep resistance even though there's a hollowness inside...
my soul empty even when the heart is filled, maybe filled partial emptiness, partial love...
who knows, all my energy gone, like I am fighting a one-man war with me and only me for which I could be the loser, there is no guaranteed winner jousting for freedom not being free from man but being free from man within, the worst jail to be in
..........just my feelings..........
i'm a knight in armor, not so shiny, sword dull from constant fighting, personal battles...
constant battling sustaining blow after devastating blow not knowing of severe injury, each blow taken is another blow stricken for man's victory but actually defeating the soul...
carefully paranoid of surrounding peoples, not knowing who is and who is not, not interested in making unanimous choices but would rather withdraw from man...
in mine own eyes, man doomed to failure because of his own will to succeed, to win, no matter what the cost, to gain the world and lose his own soul, eyes showing death no vision, no purpose but just to be the last man standing, but is it worth it
..........just my feelings..........
my speech not perfect but who am i to be, judge me not but love me best even if strangely enough that i be not mistake-free but fail me not myself...
i have already known my heartbeat has no rhythm, just doing what it supposed to do, one beat after another...
i close my eyes and the nightmares continue without end, seeing sleep but not rest, don't be a stranger to the difference, like i not a stranger to the war within my region standing and fighting like a roman king be brave but i brave no more, my body weakened, strangely enough the lighter blows strike harder than once expected, the ones looked for...
letting myself drift for so long without a sigh, sing of things different coming along, nothing worth anything, anything worth nothing, who knows what except me myself but those are
..........just my feelings..........
Edward Orlando Griffin