On The Sidewalk Bleeding...

7 Comments

Tags:
  • Sadness
    • ,
  • Death
    • ,
  • Devotion

    Poem Commentary

    I wrote this poem while in High School, around 1993 or so. Our English class had watched a movie ( I forget the title) about two gangs that were fighting in the streets, and one former gang member who was trying to bring them together. He paid the ultimate price, and only through his death was his dream of uniting his friends realized. Our teacher asked us to compose a short poem about this, and this is what came of it. Hope you enjoy.
    Marcus

    On The Sidewalk Bleeding...

     On the sidewalk bleeding...
    My life slowly receding,
    As my blood  from jagged wound flows

    Slowly, I am dying...
    Live! My soul is crying,
    Repenting the life I once chose.

    Slowly is my heartbeat
    Ebbing  flow at killer's feet,
    As I struggle to forgiveness give.

    Whispering words of prayer...
    Without pomp, without flair,
    In dying, remembering those who live.

     "Father, spill not this, my blood, in vain..."


    Marcus Lewis
    Please see commentary for explanation.

    Poem Comments

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    MOMofTWINS commented on On The Sidewalk Bleeding...

    09-30-2009

    Very nicely written, especially at that age. Its a hard thing to be torn between putting yourself out on a limb, or, in this case, letting the wolves clear each other out for something that could have been risen above. Difficult choice but sometimes it has to be made. a 10, without a doubt. (:
    Reply to Comment

    Chaos128 commented on On The Sidewalk Bleeding...

    07-02-2009

    This is the question we all ask ourselves; am i willing to put it all on the line for what's right? It's a question (the great majority of us) would hope we never have to answer. Another well deserved 10. A new pic, huh? Why do I get the feeling you're rehearsing for an author's portrait on the back of the dust cover? (Ha ha)
    Reply to Comment

    UnworthyFather

    07/02/2009

    Thanks, Chaos, for your kindness. Author's portrait??? I hope so, but think not.

    Chaos128

    07/02/2009

    ALWAYS visualize the positive, bro! If you say: that ain't gonna happen, guess what - It ain't! Say: It's gonna happen just like this, and mean it, and guess what...

    ginga commented on On The Sidewalk Bleeding...

    06-20-2009

    Powerful and graphic. A very good response to a difficult assignments. Often violence is harded to write about than love, nature or phlosophy.
    Reply to Comment

    UnworthyFather

    06/20/2009

    Thank you very much, Ginga for your kind words.

    StandingBear commented on On The Sidewalk Bleeding...

    06-16-2009

    A superb take on the movie you watched in high school. "Father, spill not this, my blood, in vain..." Great lines, great write. 10
    Reply to Comment

    UnworthyFather

    06/17/2009

    Thank you very much, StandingBear.

    aggieprof commented on On The Sidewalk Bleeding...

    06-16-2009

    You were doing very well even as a youth. Your complex rhyming scheme for that young age is amazing.
    Reply to Comment

    UnworthyFather

    06/16/2009

    Thank you very much, Sir, for your very kind comments.

    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

    Unknown Source

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